


six hundred dollars

by orphan_account



Category: Easy Allies RPF, Gametrailers RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Flirting, Multi, Polyamory, or coffeeshop, the boys and ian just want kyle to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8249372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kyle Bosman has never really been the best at flirting. No, really, it's true. And it's even harder to even attempt to flirt when you're boyfriends want to do everything for you.





	

“What can I get for you today?” Kyle asks, dryly. It’s the twenty-third time he’s had to say this today and damn, does it get tiring. He’s going to cut out his tongue at this point, and it’s only nine in the morning. The person across the counter smiles, tapping her fingers against the counter.

“How about your number?” She smirks, leaning forward. Kyle sighs.

“That’ll be six hundred dollars, thank you. We accept cash, check, or card.” He says, deadpan, and the woman loses it, tossing her head back and laughing.

“I’ll have to go with the cranberry muffins, then. Two, if you’d please.” She orders, a less intense smile on their face than the smirk she previously held. He nods.

“Sure, coming right up.” He ducks, grabbing the muffins from the display case and tucking them inside the wax paper bag. He straightens, typing in a few numbers to the cash register. “That’ll be eight dollars even, thank you.”

“Much more reasonable.” She chuckles and hands over a few bills. “Have a nice day!”

“It’s my job to say that!” He calls after her, but she just shakes her head and walks out the door, bell ringing behind her. He huffs. “Customers…”

“Kyle. Kyle, really?” Brad chimes in from where he’s sitting at the counter, cup of coffee in hand, eyebrow raised. “Kyle. She was cute, Kyle.”

“She was forward, Brad.” Kyle points out, mimicking Brad’s speech. 

“Yeah, so? You need someone forward, you’re never going to ask someone out.” Brad counters, sipping his coffee slowly. “And she was cute. Willing to talk to you, willing to ask for your number, and cute.” Brad counts off on his fingers. “I think that meets the Bosman dating requirements.”

“I would like to remind you that I didn’t set up those rules, you did.” Kyle points accusatorily at him. “And that I never asked you to make those rules. You took it upon yourself, so it’s your own fault if I decide not to follow them.”

“Are you going to not follow them by turning down every person that asks you out?” Brad asks. “Aw, Kyle, I thought you were done with this rebellious phase.”

“Oh my gosh, shut up, Brad.” Kyle orders, running his hands over the countertop. “You better hurry up and drink your coffee before I take it away from you.”

“As if you could.” Brad sneers, but Kyle doesn’t miss the way he hold his cup closer to his body. 

“You know I could.” Kyle says. “And I could do so much more if I was so compelled.”

“Are you threatening my boyfriend?” Huber laughs from where he’s standing in the doorway to the back kitchen. Kyle shrugs in response and Huber laughs again. “No, by all means.” He holds up his hands. “Go ahead.”

“Huber.” Brad whines, frowning. “Huber, this is cyberbullying.”

“That is. That is surprisingly wrong, Brad.” Kyle looks perplexed. “We’re not online. We’re not even close to a computer, Brad.”

“And you’re not even close to being caught up with the modern memes.” Brad hangs his head. “I expected so much better.”

“Yeah?” Kyle asks, leaning across the counter. “Well, you’re a dweeb and you only think you’re leather jacket makes you look cool.” Brad gasps and claps a hand to his heart. “My name’s Bradley Ellis and I wear leather jackets to hide the fact that I’m really a big dork.” Kyle mocks. 

“Well, my name’s Kyle Bosman and I wouldn’t go on a date if someone offered me actual money.” Brad teases. Huber scoffs.

“This again?” He moves closer to the counter, standing next to Kyle. “You need to get better at taking people up on their offers. You look good! And you have an apartment! That’s all millennials want in a potential partner.”

“Technically, it’s our apartment. And am I even a mille-” Kyle starts to say, but Huber puts a finger over his mouth and shushes him.

“Yes. Sure you are.” Huber takes his hand down. “And you need to get better at accepting the fact that people really want to date you. You’re cute, Kyle. People love you.” He claps his hands. “Now that we’ve got that straightened out for the third time this month,” He glares at Kyle, “How are you, Brad?”

“Oh, y’know. Fine.” Brad swirls his cup around. “Just drinking my coffee.”

“Good, good.” Huber nods. “We still on for tonight?”

“Of course. Seven, yeah?” Brad checks and Huber nods again, smiling.

“Oh, God.” Kyle groans, putting his head in his hands. “You two literally live together. We literally live together. You guys don’t need to be cheesy when you see each other in public.”

“I think someone’s jealous.” Brad sing-songs. Huber rolls his eyes and blows a kiss to Brad, who nearly falls out of his seat trying to catch it. 

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll stop.” Huber relents, patting Kyle on the shoulder before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “But only because I have to take the pies out of the oven. See you two later. Dinner tonight, looking forward to it.”

“You know it.” Brad winks. Kyle groans again.

The next morning, it’s just after nine and Kyle is repeating the same ‘what can I get for you today’ over and over again, and then the pretty woman from the day before waltzes in and straight up to the counter.

“How much would it be to get your name?” She asks, smiling.

“Five dollars.” Kyle answers, immediately. She fishes out a bill from her wallet and drops it into the tip jar. “I’m Kyle.” She smiles even wider. “And I wear a name tag.” She curses under her breath and turns on her heel, walking out of the store. Kyle watches her go.

She returns a few minutes later, cheeks red.

“I, uh, I may have forgotten to order.” She admits and Kyle just shakes his head. 

When she leaves, Brad reaches across the counter to hold his hand.

“I know love can be tough sometimes, but-” Kyle promptly takes his hand away. 

She comes in the next day too, and orders before making any jokes.

“How much would it cost for a compliment?” She questions. “I don’t see it on the price board anywhere…”

“I’m not going to- You can’t pay me to give you a compliment.” Kyle tilts his head. “That’s like kind of creepy.” Her eyes widen.

“No! I meant how much would I have to pay you so I could give you a compliment?” She corrects herself. Kyle blinks.

“Uh? Like, a dollar, maybe. If that, it’s a li-” She cuts him off by dropping four quarters in the tip jar. She looks him straight in the eyes.

“You have a nice ass. Okay, bye.” She grabs her bag of muffins and practically sprints out the door, leaving Kyle flustered.

“What does- Can she even see my ass from the other side of the counter?” He runs his hands over his jeans. “I’m even wearing an apron! That can not be flattering, oh my gosh. I have to look like a mess, don’t I?”

“Kyle, you look fine.” Brad says, exasperated. Kyle pauses in his self-examination and looks at him.

“Are you sure?” He asks, skeptical. “Because, I mean, I’m sure I don-”

“You look great.” Brad interrupts. “Now, just plan how you’re going to accept her asking you out in silence and let me drink my coffee.”

“Bu-”

“Hush.”

The next time she comes in, Huber is standing next to Kyle behind the counter and she waves at them both.

“Hey, how are you, Kyle?” She asks. Huber smiles and exchanges a look with Brad. “And other.”

“I’m fine.” Kyle answers as Huber holds up his hands.

“Can’t complain.” He responds. “I think it’s going pretty alright.”

“Muffins?” Kyle check with her and she nods. He prepares her order quickly and hands it over to her, not allowing any time for small talk, that would most likely have to do with him, spring up. She hands him the money and drops two dollars in the tip jar.

“Y’all cute.” She points at both of them and grabs her bag, leaving as quickly as she came in.

“I would die for her.” Brad breathes and Huber cuffs him lightly.

“You can’t say that about every pretty person you meet.” He reprimands, before turning up his nose. “Besides, she only complimented us.” He links arms with Kyle.

“Shut up.” Brad urges. “She’ll think I’m cute too.”

“Probably.” Huber agrees. “But she’s focusing on Kyle right now, I think.”

“Is she?” Kyle asks, sarcasm biting into his voice. “I couldn’t tell.”

She comes in the next day and honestly, Kyle was expecting her. It’s just past nine and she sweeps through the door along with a gust of wind. She puts a dollar in the tip jar before even speaking to Kyle.

“You’re cute.” She compliments. Brad snorts into his coffee cup, but she ignores him, choosing instead to stay focused on Kyle.

“Do you know how much cuter I would be if I had money?” He asks and she laughs.

“Man, I’d give you six hundred dollars if I had it, Kyle. I’m Ian, by the way.” She sticks out her hand. He shakes it, quickly. “Nice to meet you.”

“We’ve been met.” He says. Brad whimpers softly in his seat, watching the interaction from behind his fingers. “Wait, I don’t think that’s how you say it. That is not how you say it. Let me try again. We’ve met before.”

“Nice.” She compliments. “Much better. I’d give you a solid ninety-three if I had to grade it.”

“You’re dorks.” Brad shakes his head, still hiding behind his hands. “Cute dorks, but still dorks.” Ian looks questioningly at Brad,

“Ignore him, please.” Kyle requests, waving his hands. 

“I’m sorry, Kyle, do you not want her knowing how much of a dork you are?” He sticks out his hands toward Ian. “I’m Brad, by the way. I do know Kyle, though. Just to let you know I’m not some creepy guy who hangs out at coffee shops.”

“Nice to meet you.” She shakes his hand and he leans back in his stool, which doesn’t really work, seeing as the stool has no back and he just ends up having to sit back up.

“You know, you’re going to have to ask him out.” Brad advises. Kyle splutters. “He’ll never take matters into his own hands, trust me.” Ian looks at Kyle and then back at Brad. 

“Oh, I believe you, don’t worry.” She agrees, wholeheartedly. “I just don’t know if he’d agree or not. You have to take that into consideration, y’know, when courting a person.”

“You call this courting?” Brad questions. “Because I call it dancing around each other until you eventually leave because Kyle can’t dance and you’ve finally seen the light and come to your senses.” Kyle huffs, still struggling to string together a full sentence.

“Oh, yeah? I think it’d take a bit more than that to drive me away.” Ian admits. “Should I do it, then? Or would he charge me like a thousand dollars, because I’m afraid that I can’t quite spare that, no matter how much I would like to.”

“Ask him out! Listen to my boyfriend, ask him out!” Huber shouts from the backroom and Ian looks mildly surprised, but she turns to Kyle anyway.

“What do you say?” She asks. “You want to go out with me for dinner sometime, Kyle?”

“This isn’t fair!” Kyle cries. “You all are ganging up on me! This is- This is cyberbullying!” Brad loses it, laughing into his hands as he puts his head on the counter. Ian smiles lightly, amused. 

“But I’m the only one that wants to take you to dinner.” Ian points out. “Unless I’m right in thinking there’s something else going on here.” She looks at Brad, first, then at the doorway where Huber’s voice came from.

“Hey, we get him every other day of the week, you can have him tonight.” Brad proposes. “Maybe we could go out all four of us at one point, though.”

“I’d like that.” Ian grins. “Can I take you all tonight, then? Dinner?”

“I’m not busy!” Huber calls from the back. “Which means these other two aren’t either.”

“Well. Good, then. Six thirty, good for you all?” She checks. Kyle nods, quickly.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds fine. Better than fine. Great, actually, very great.” Kyle begins to ramble, before stopping himself. “Oh! Your muffins!” He grabs them quickly and very nearly shoves them into her hands.

“Hey, one more thing.” Brad chimes in and Ian looks at him. He slides her a dollar bill. “You cute.” She laughs and looks at the bill for a second before picking it up and putting it in the tip jar.

“Cuter.” She points at him and walks out the door. Brad whistles lowly.

“Congrats, Kyle.”

“Shut up, Brad.”   
  


**Author's Note:**

> yeah!  
> you can find me on tumblr @ taptaptapping.tumblr.com


End file.
